Baby registry March 21, 2009

I finally made some registries.  I just was flabbergasted when people started asking where we were registered.  I’m clearly a clod and didn’t know this is how things work.  Well, some people aren’t raised by wolves and others find out the hard way or through experience.  Just like my wedding taught me invaluable lessons about RSVPs, gifts, etc.

Why are registries difficult to create for me?  Well, we aren’t really a “consuming” family but realize we have to get some stuff to take care of this kid.  I’m trying to walk the fine line between getting some things that will make our lives easier and not just believing every thing I read/see.  I mean the amount of stuff that exists today as a “necessary” item is a bit ridiculous!  No offense to others of course, we just try to live fairly simply (other may say cheaply or inconveniently) and have a tiny house so it was difficult at first to choose things.  We’ve been Craigslisting a lot of things and are accepting many kind donations from friends…so we have some of the big things covered, which is wonderful.  I’ve taken the opportunity in creating our registries to learn about baby stuff, think about the many holes left in our nursery, and have a little fun shopping (hey the stuff can be cute!). Really we just appreciate the love and support that we see from our friends…thank you!

Our registries…

Jim on Circumcision March 10, 2009

Or, alternately, male genital mutilation.

This video is a routine infant circumcision.  It’s graphic and, to my eyes, extremely disturbing.

Here are some photographs of the tools and procedure.

My position on circumcision should be clear at this point.  I was 4 years old when I was routinely mutilated and it was a pretty unpleasant experience, as you might guess.  However, I’ve never really seen an uncircumcised penis so, while I read that the tissue is more sesetive and healthier, I hadn’t guessed that the difference in the appearance of the tissue would be so dramatic.  Caution: the following images contains (gasp!) photos of penises.  View at own discretion.  Cicumcised versus uncricumcised penises.  You’ll imediatly notice that the tissue on one of these penises looks vastly healthier than the other.

We’ve been discussing this issue at home, obviously, since we don’t know if we’re having a boy or girl.  There are arguments for circumcision.  For example, there seems to be evidence that circumcision makes it less likely to acquire HIV during unprotected sex with an infected partner.  We’ve also been told that American women are ‘grossed out’ by foreskin and that uncircumcised penises smell.  However, I would like to leave it to my son, should I have one, to make that decision for himself when he’s capable of it.  Strapping an infant down and taking a knife to his penis seems, to me,  barbaric and a violation of the child’s human rights.

See also:

• Circumcision Resource Center
• Mothers Against Circ
• National Organization of Circumcision Information Resource Centers

February Ultrasound February 15, 2009

As promised here are the photos from the 2/2/09 ultrasound.  The wee one is getting bigger (5.5″ in these pics from crown to rump).  No good overall view.  Course maybe we didn’t get a nice full profile since we don’t want to know the sex.  Yeah, that’s probably it.

Profile

Arm

Alien face…

Touring the Birthing Center February 15, 2009

Last Thursday we toured the Duke Hospital Birth Center.  The first hour was spent in one of the awful auditoriums I have had to teach medical students in.  There a super nice nurse gave us a nice overview on what to expect, what to pack, what to do, etc.  I will be giving cord blood to the Carolina Cord Blood Bank.  Cord blood is rich in stem cells and can be used to treat a variety of cancers and other diseases. Free stem cells without the embryo debate!

We then toured the labor and delivery birthing rooms (there are 20).  Some of the nice things: whirlpool tubs for labor, an attempt to not look so hospital like (wallpaper & wood paneling), a sleeper couch, and a private elevator from the ER that goes straight up to the Birth Center.  Do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars, or stand around ER for more than a second. Yay!  We saw the postpartum rooms with the comfy airbeds for me but a miserable recliner for the birth partner. Poor Jim. The nursery was small as rooming-in is encouraged but it’s there to give moms a break if needed.  And that’s about all I remember!

Next week we will also be touring the Durham Regional Hospital (a Duke owned hospital). While my docs are only at Duke Hospital, I wanted to see my only other option.  That’s right.  Duke insurance is awesome! But on my plan (the most popular) you are limited to Duke ppl.  Which makes sense but can be a pain if you find a doc you like.  But I do like that my knee surgery was only $100 and having a baby should only cost me $350 (or so I hear, we’ll see).

I mentioned I had signed us up for a ton of classes.

• 8 week birthing class (and we may sign up for another half day one that’s actually affiliated w/Duke though there will be some repeated info)
• breastfeeding
• baby care
• boot camp for new dads
• pain relief options
• choosing & using childcare

Busy busy! Aside from all that we are trying to collect baby stuff.  Here’s what more we’ve gotten. And you know, I keep thinking we have a lot probably because it’s not put together and just takes up a lot of space we don’t have and because we have to mess with Craigslist shopping all over the Triangle which can be a pain. But really there’s a lot more things to think about. Ack!

• donations from coworkers including a changing table and maternity clothes, with more things coming
• my former boss just sent me a box with a lovely crib set (bumper, wall hanging, etc)
• coworker sold me her stroller and two carseats w/ bases (in case we have to get another car) $60

[Note to self] Still really need to sign up for a baby CPR/first aid class, make a registry, and find a crib mattress & breast pump.

February Update February 14, 2009

Sorry to be so late in posting an update.  Feb 2nd (my 18th week) we had our Anatomy scan.  Not too many good pictures, but I’ll scan them in tomorrow and post them.  The baby looks great.  The point of the scan is to check to make sure the heart, liver, brain, palate, arms/legs, kidneys, placenta and cord are all looking good and functioning.  A+  This was also our chance to find out the sex (if he/she cooperated).

I’ve been reading a lot, signing us up for classes, and getting tours for childcare lined up.  It feels like every other morning we are trekking to some childcare place.  Well, it feels that way because we are.  We need to get some childcare settled beginning in October and the possibilities are endless (and all pretty much not good enough).  From nannies, to in-home childcare, to institutional daycares…there’s just no good place to leave an infant.  Now once he/she is around 18mos, different story.  Then I’m sure it’ll be a fun, socially stimulating place.  Until then…sigh.

Oh, I bet you are wondering if we are having a boy or girl.  Well so are we!  We decided not to find out.  WHY NOT?  Come on you know you want to say it.  That’s all I hear.  It seems about 85% of people choose to find out the sex ahead of time.  We didn’t want to for a variety of reasons.  It sounds like a lovely surprise, it doesn’t really matter, and we really didn’t want to get sucked into the gendered stuff.  And it would happen, trust me, by us or others.  I’m sure the gender would have its own gravitational pull.  So now there’s no worry!  I’m accepting used girl and boy stuff and will use whatever I can!  Let’s be practical, while I may not pick an uber lacy pink ruffled thing for a boy, most stuff of any color will work.  Especially to soil and grow out of.  And I’m thinking a boy in a dress sounds like a marvelous idea!  Easy diaper access!  We did have the technician print out a picture and type the sex on the pic and seal it in an envelope.  So just in case, we can find out.  While I doubt that would happen, wouldn’t it be nice to discover what you are having over romantic dinner or some other place of your choosing rather than an ugly doc office?

Speaking of romantic dinners… Happy Valentine’s Day! I hope it was wonderful.  My present is that Jim is painting the kitchen.  His present?  Um, my appreciation and continued hard work at making a baby?

January Midwife Visit & A Call for Your Used Baby Stuff! February 1, 2009

We had our 4th month visit, this time with a midwife.  We are now unsure if we are going to stick with the midwives or not.  Our practice has about 7 doctors and 6 midwives attached to it.  So far we have seen two docs and decided to switch to the midwives as it is our hope to have a less medicalized birth, if possible.  We found out during our visit that the midwives only work M-F, ten hours a day.  I recently read that most women seem to go into labor over the evening. The author hypothesized that this nocturnal labor was an evolutionary measure to protect the mother and baby. But depending on the length of the labor, we could be with the midwives anyway.  It’s a tough call.

At this visit aside from asking questions such as “Is it okay that I’m in the beginning of my fifth month and haven’t gained any weight?” “Why can’t I sleep at night?” and “When can’t I lay on my back anymore?”  The midwife didn’t care about weight gain, she focused on what I was eating and making sure I wasn’t dieting (nope!). I probably can’t sleep because the hormones can do that to you or because some part of my brain is preparing to become a mom (huh?). And soon I’ll need to stay off my back (not as big a deal as I’m a side sleeper)./

We’ve already had two ultrasounds (and seen the tiny heart beating) but this time she pulled out the Fetal Doppler Heart Monitor.  We could hear the heart beating and hear when s/he moved! At this time I told her how on the way to prenatal yoga, I felt a tiny fluttering.  It was raining really hard and I was leaving work. I was driving past the hospital when I felt the fluttering (it was like if you take two fingers and drum it on your arm). It was funny because I had to turn down NPR so I could “hear” it better.  I told her I had felt something and she did the same exact thing  to me that I had done to Jim to explain it (the two drumming fingers). Exciting!

One thing that disappointed us was that she blurted out that we were having a girl.  Now I’ve read that some people try to guess the sex based on the # of heartbeats/minute. I’ve also read how inaccurate that is. We have decided we don’t want to know the sex until his/her birthday. So Jim informs her that her way is wildly inaccurate. She said it was also based on how I was carrying and my food cravings (which we didn’t discuss since I haven’t had any).  Bah! Hullabaloo!

We have an ultrasound tomorrow.  This is the 18 week anatomy scan where they will look at the organs, heart chambers, etc to look for any abnormalities.  If the baby complies this is a chance to find out the sex too.  We’ll have to make sure we tell the technician to keep silent on the sex.  I’ll post the pictures next week!

On other fronts, as you can probably guess, we are going used/cheap for everything.  We just snagged a crib for $30!  The first thing Jim bought was a Kolcraft Universal Infant Car Seat Carrier for $30. So now we have two things! We had only planned to get two new things: a crib mattress as we wanted an organic one and a car seat.  We’ve talked ourselves out of both. We really want to avoid anything treated with flame retardants, which means all new clothes/mattresses/etc. But used things also have time to off-gas/rub off/etc.  So we’ve decided this is the best course of action.  So this is our call for any used baby gear you are willing to give or lend to us. We don’t care what gender it is “supposed” to be for.  Earn good karma points!

Babymoon! January 28, 2009

Baby bump?!

We went to New Mexico Jan 15-21 for our last baby free getaway while I was in weeks 16-17.  It was absolutely wonderful.  We had a lot of fun, relaxation, and together time. I was glad the altitude didn’t bother me at all.  We played in the snow, went hiking, explored Taos and an old ghost town, drove all over the mountains, and spent every evening in front of the fire.  We got up to Angelfire Ski Resort for two days.  I let Jim ski one day while I played it safe down below.  The second time we had fun riding the ski lift and going snowshoeing at the top. Next time it will be cross country skiing though.  It’s hard to sneak up on wildlife with those shoes on. During that trip Jim commented that the baby was starting to stick out some.  While I suffered from no nausea in the first trimester, I also haven’t gained any weight, so thing have just shifted around I guess.

While it was a wonderful trip, it was sad to get home and lose one of our kitties the very next morning.  He had an unknown heart problem and a clot traveled and lodged in his artery right where the artery splits to supply each lower leg (saddle thrombosis).  He became paralyzed and we rushed him to the emergency vet.  He had heart failure and got fluid in his lungs.  It was all so sudden.  We buried him in our backyard.  We were just glad we were home when it happened.

RIP Buddy

No more baby blob! January 10, 2009

December 22, 2008

So much changes in a month! This ultrasound gave us views of the baby (who now looks like a little one). What was really astounding was to see how much (s)he moves.  While I know the movements will be awesome, I can wait another month or so to feel them.  After all, sleep is not overrated! Duke won’t allow people to record the moving baby so we had to make due with these images.  At this point the baby was about 2.5 inches long from head to rump.  I’m still so lucky to have no real nausea!  I can deal with anything else…

First portrait… January 1, 2009

First ultrasound!

Here’s an ultrasound from November 26th. At eight weeks we were calling it the Baby Blob.  However, we could see the heart beating here at about 140 bpm.  Incredible!